Pensitivity101 is once again the host of Fibbing Friday, posing questions about all things blue (but not cheese, unfortunately, as it is close to our lunch hour). So while we take a meal break at The Blue Boy Inn, teetotaller Andy Whatsisname will stay behind to furnish the answers,
1. Why is Royal Blood considered blue?
Because they don’t like the oxygen of publicity. Look at the Duke of York! Did he appear in a blue movie? I don’t know but does it look beyond the realms of possibility?
2. What is a Blue Moon?
In Kentucky the moon doesn’t go through phases like in normal places. It keeps on shining, apparently. I blame moonshine: they imbibe a lot of that stuff down in Kentucky. Before it makes you go blind, everything looks blue.
3. What was the song ‘Blue is the Colour’ about?
Footballers (that’s Soccer to Americans) can’t sing; a known fact. To verify it, scientists chose eleven men at random from a well-known professional London team, and sent them into a recording studio as a warning to others. Blue is the colour you go after the second chorus, unless you can lay your hands on a convenient gun.
4. What is meant by blue collar?
This is when the Vice Squad makes an arrest for possession of indecent material.
5. What is a blue bonnet?
I refer you to Q.10 below.
Yes, we Brits call “hoods” bonnets (and “trunks” boots) It’s all a bit too kinky, isn’t it?
6. What did Little Boy Blue play?
Was it Strip Poker? He probably had a Royal Flush after seeing a smutty film featuring a Duke of York.
7. What changed from brown to blue according to the song?
Colours are always changing in songs, it’s a devil to keep up. Gene Pitney sang about greys and blues changing to scarlet; Mick Jagger sang that blue turned to grey, then changed his mind later and wanted everything painted black.
Was it a cow? If cow dung was blue, it would be more obvious, I think.
8. Where will you find a Blue Nun?
I’ve already said, I don’t look at blue movies but I’m reliably informed this one fetishises a side of Roman Catholic culture.
9. Why mustn’t you step on his Blue Suede Shoes?
Carl Perkins suffered terribly with his feet.
10. What kind of bird has blue feet?
I had my car resprayed blue once and a flippin’ seagull landed on its bonnet, right at the front. It stuck fast in the drying paint so I had it stuffed and pretended I drove a Rolls Royce for a while.